Monday, August 30, 2010

New York City with Asians...a Lot of Them

The streets of Seoul are alive and kicking: old women picking up street cardboard on carts for money, cigarette smokers as far as the eye can see, enough scooters to start a scotter mafia that could rival the 'Sons of Anarchy', and more internet cafes than Starbucks.

They call them PC bongs...and you pay to use the internet, obviously. I guess you could say it's a glorified internet cafe. Bored teenagers conquring the World...of War Craft at 0145 hours.

On the flight over I met a guy named Nick who is a pilot for the royal family of Dubai. Another, a lovely woman from New Zealand, named Olivia, who's never actually met an American Christian that ACTUALLY BELIEVES IN CREATIONISM! (use a New Zeland accent and it's much better. I'm sure I could have fallen in love with her had we meet before she got a husband, and been a Christian, and been 10 years younger), and a whole host of other random peeps who I wished I could be facebook friends with to see how their lives turn out.

I've been uprooted from my sweet, little hostel in Prague and placed at the center of the Korean Universe and am not sure what I think about it. Maybe it's the fact that I've never lived in a city larger than 30,000 people. And now I'm living smack dab in the middle of the 3th largerst city in the world; sitting on around 10,464,051 people. Well...10,464,052 now.

If I could describe Seoul in a phrase it would be: third world country meets internet and coffee hardcore. It's everything you think and nothing you've ever experienced, all rolled up into a small cherry fruit by the foot, bursting at the seams.

And now, since I have only 9 minutes left, of my one hour dungeon sentence, with my asian peers, I wish you a healthy and hearty 30th of August, 2010. love. war.

Things to think about
-marrying someone of another race.

Things to read:
In the land of Uz there lived a man whose name was Job

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Korea: Land of the Free and Home of the 'Courteous People in the East'

This is an update blog, posted quickly from a community computer, while hordes of young gentleman, from all reaches of the world, wait to check their facebooks and play Mafia Wars.

Today I fly, on Emirates no less, to South Korea, in a much anticipated departure from the semi-great country of Czech Republic. I leave today at 16:00 and arrive tomorrow at 16:00. While I have no ill will to give to this country I get closer and closer each second to extreme elation at the thought of settling down in my 'studio flat' somewhere in the bowels of smelly, dirty, ugly, and polluted Seoul, Korea. Without sounding mellow dramatic this might be the second happiest day of my life. Not to be outdone by the first happiest day of my life, of course, which was the day Abbey Saxby, my 5th grade sweetheart,  decided to be an item with me...I think I figuratively peed my pants. We hugged the last day of 5th grade and it was bloody beautiful; you would of cried.  (the other great days obviously rank 3rd through 100th).

So in the wake of hours of Bible reading, hanging out with Frenchmen and Germans into all hours of the night, arguing why freedom is better than socialism, tens of trips to the grocery, and plenty of hot showers (my favorite pastime) on my knees (my least favorite pastime), I depart to the Prague airport, where a beautiful young hostess waits eagerly to serve me wine and pillows, while I watch hours of crappy Hollywood movies, to eventually gaze down onto my future home: Reading Town, Seoul, South Korea.

Love. war.

Things to think about:
-What hasn't been invented yet?

Things to read:
Bush spent...Obama spends more. Let the spending stop.

Things to do:

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Hobbies Come in All Shapes and Sizes and Rolling Papers

I’m looking out my room window (room 202A, floor 1, don’t ask). The view is pretty crappy and a trail goes by every 10 minutes. But what can you expect with an 8 a night cost of living. I’ve had a lot of time on my own the last couple weeks so I’ve taken up a few hobbies.

The first, rolling cigarettes, which don’t have a filter and make me light headed as all get out, so I only smoke few. So far I suck, as you would expect. It’s like having to make a sandwich before you eat it. LAME. I’m from America.  

The second, now don't call me crazy, is learning Korean, which for lack of a better analogy is like learning a new language.

It’s not as easy as learning Spanish though; something that I couldn’t even manage to do after 4 years of classes. You have to learn a whole new alphabet which is called Hangul and spelled looks like this… 한글. See what I mean. Six characters broken up into two syllables to make one amazingly difficult word and in turn making up one very difficult language. Thank you Tower of Babel goers.  Dangun should of made the official language of Korea English when he had a chance. It’s a joke…God should of.

Another hobby that I’ve started that I’m much better at than learning Korean is dancing in clubs.

I’ve already started learning some new moves. There’s “sweat real bad to detract all the girls.” Another “dance all alone in a seductive manner trying to allure men and when it works give them a ugly look and turn around” And my personal favorite, “Pay 120 Czech Crowns to come into the club and watch people dance” I’m still working on this one but it’s hard because I’m dancing.

Small-town America doesn’t understand dance clubs. I know because my entire 25 years of existence I’ve lived in small towns in America that have zero dance clubs. The occasional dance club that I have visited pales in comparison to dance clubs here in Prague; the best being the 5 Story Club.  

The first story: (as shown by a projector on the wall): Radio hits. On this floor people from all countries dance to the most famous radio dance music in the world, American, while men stand peering down on the dance floor looking really really really cool.  

The second story: Dance music. On this floor a 9 foot alien projects red lasers all around the smoke machined room while people dance to the most annoying techno music you’ve ever heard. On the side of the room are 20 boxes lit with black lights to dance on with lasers coming down from the ceiling. It’s a site to see sober. I can’t even imagine what I’d be like being high.

The third storyBlack music. While I’m not sure what they mean by black music judging from the things they play I’m assuming its bump and grind music. Although I’ve heard the occasional Gwen Stefani song who I’ve pretty sure isn’t black. Maybe they mean music that black people listen to which would explain the floor being packed with everyone but black people. I think I’ve seen all of 2 black people in all of Prague since I’ve been here…okay okay…maybe 3.

The forth storyOldies. Who knew Europeans loved Bon Jovi more than me? All the oldies are of course from the west because what I’ve learned is that no one made music besides Westerners in the 60’s and 70’s. Everything from I Get Around by The Beach Boys to Hey Jude by The Beatles. I don’t spend that much time on this floor because I’ve never figured out how to dance to Hey Jude. Apparently all of Europe knows how because this is always the most packed floor of the house. The top picture is of this floor.   

The fifth storyChill music. Or as I like to call it “sweat music” because I did not one second of chilling when I was on the floor. The DJ plays main room house music and dudes just dance. They aren’t looking for girls. They aren’t looking to be cool. They. Just. Let. Loose. So, that’s what I did. It’s not like an Urban Sophisticates show (YO WINGS) but it’s close.

There’s a total of 10 bars in the whole club, 20 different rooms, and 500 Italian men.

My one rule of going to a dance club is this: You must bring at least one girl with you. Love. War. 

Things to think about:
-How your emotions can change so quickly from one second to another.
-You don't need an iPod to start exercising.
-Ignore grammatical mistakes in my blogs. I hate commas and knowing how to use them. 

Things to listen to:
On a side note I’d like to say that one song I’m listening to now that isn’t American and is number one in every country save America is We No Speak Americano by Yolanda Be Cool.

Things to read:
The Four Loves by C.S. Lewis (if you're smart enough)

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Sex in Hostels and Dancing in Clubs

I’m laying on my bed in Prague at a hostel called Dizzy Daisy (picture provided). I’ve never stayed at a hostel before and if you haven’t either I can fill you in on what it’s like; a cheap hotel with roommates. They don’t provide soap or make your bed every day. One great thing though is the people that you meet.

A guy staying in a room here is a DJ at a strip club. We’ll call him Jazzy Jeff for the sake of privacy. He just came in my room and asked me if a certain song is a good song for the girls to dance to. I thought about it for a second and told him I don’t really know if I feel comfortable picking songs for your girls to dance to…but…that one sounds a little slow.

I’m not sure how fast or slow a strip song is supposed to sound so I make educated guesses from two separate things I’ve experienced: dancing, and taking off my clothes. He played another one and I thought it’d be too fast. Hell, I don’t know, do strippers like fast music or slow music? Jeff said they liked all different stuff. That makes sense I suppose. Despite the popular opinion, I guess all strippers aren’t alike.

We’ve talked a lot about God, focusing on his providence. He knows the Bible fairly well and I've enjoyed our discussions. He agrees that God doesn't like strippers stripping but said he's not going to do this job that long. I told him to quit. 

I’ve also never understood why they use poles for stripping and no other types of dancing. Does anyone know the reason for this? I know in ballet they use sideways poles for practicing but I'm pretty sure that’s not the same thing. 

I’ve changed rooms twice and I meet a guy and his friend. They were from Italy and apparently after getting back to the club at 3 in the morning he had time to score with an American.

Ciro: Sorry for waking you Page.
Page: nah man it’s all right. How was your night?
Ciro: We meet two girls from America. It was disbelievable.
Page: I’m not sure what you mean by that bro. Like unbelievable?
Ciro: um…like…she was easy.
Page: Did you have sex with her?
Ciro: yes
Page: uhh
Ciro: yeah it was a fun night.

Maybe he wasn’t talking about sex and something got lost in translation but sex is a pretty universal word and so is the word yes.  (Unlike the word 'is' which seems to have a lot of meanings. Thank you Bill Clinton).

Now I don’t consider myself sheltered in the least, but I couldn’t even begin to explain to you how to go to a club and pick up a girl and have sex with her…why…because I don’t do it. And we all know that practice makes perfect. One thing is for sure though that it’s crazy to me how ambivalent people are about sex. Isn’t it something important to give to someone that you know that you love and trust? Isn’t it something that should be used to consummate a marriage and save for your wife or husband?

What else is crazy to me is how sex is the pinnacle of everything in a man-woman relationship. Everyone is trying to achieve this one thing, for believers it’s on their wedding night and for non believers it’s every night…still it’s the apex of the physical relationships.

This sex craze makes sense to me though in that I’m 25, and still desiring to have sex with my wife. I know in time I’ll find her and we’ll live happily ever after. Until then tell me your perspective on sex. I’d love to hear it. Love. War.

Things to think about:
-How many people you know from foreign countries
-If every country has open borders are they really a country?

Things to watch:
Legit goals
The funniest Jesus videos you'll ever see The third one is the them all

Monday, August 9, 2010

It was a Far Cry from a Bloodbath and a Short Walk to a Holy Revival

Later, he told me his friends called him Euchin…he said it was sort of a nickname. His real name was hard to understand and I didn’t try. Right then, I didn’t know him from Adam. His body oozed alcohol and his knuckles oozed blood; probably from an earlier fight he had got into. Those knuckles foreshadowed what I knew was a fight I was going to have to break up. Don’t ask me how I knew but I started going through all the possible scenarios: two, I died in, four, I got badly hurt and the rest were the probability.   

Sometimes the things that we fight for the most are the things we know aren’t true but want to be.
Sometimes the things we fight against the most, we know are the truest but don’t want to believe.
Sometimes our fighting against things we know to be true is a desperate attempt to control the things in our lives that can’t be controlled and we feel helpless.

They spoke in Czech but I could tell from the body language that they didn’t like each other. One, my previously mentioned, soon-to-be friend, and the other, some random Praginian we’ll call giggles (because he did a lot of giggling).   Separated by a crowd full of passengers they talked junk back and forth.  Giggles giggled with his friend and Euchin said with a glare in his eye. “Nebudete smát za minute.” (You won't be laughing in a minute.)

I thought when I lived in America that I didn’t have peace. It wasn’t until I moved to Prague and saw people living without peace that I really knew that I had peace beyond belief. Sometimes, getting out of your situation really shows you what you thought really wasn’t true.

You fight tooth and nail to prove evolution but not everything adds up so you fill in the gaps with the excusethat someone else knows the gaps but you’ve just forgotten them. You fight God…even when you don’t believe…because a God who is love wouldn’t take the life of someone you loved. Everyone has to die, are you so much more important than everyone else that God should spare the life of the people that YOU loved? Is there no place for evil? Is there no place for a deceiver? How have you been deceived? I’ll think about it with you if it makes it easier.

I’m not asking you to abandon everything you’ve learned to believe in. I’m asking you to simply question the things you’ve learned to know based on a world that has sold you.

They ask you to look better and I tell you to look at the heart. They ask you to gain power and I ask you to put others first. They ask you to look out for yourself but Jesus asks you to “do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.”

The tram came to a stop and it was go time, Euchin exited the train while Giggles stayed onboard.  Euchin passed Giggles while exiting and ripped his shirt tugging at his collar, Giggles did nothing, Euchin stepped back on the tram and got two solid face punches in at Giggles’ face. Giggles did nothing; didn’t even pull his hand down from the bar.  I pulled Euchin off the tram and told the driver to shut the doors. “I don’t think he speaks English,” Euchin said in broken English, with a smile, a laugh, and a twinkle in his eye.

I was so surprised that it took one second for him to go from aggressioned bloody knuckles to calmed laughing face; which showed me Euchin didn’t struggle with rage but pride, I thought “I guess not” and successfully stepped between Euchin and his prey saying, “Where are you from man.” It was just long enough to get the doors closed. We became friends and walked awhile back to their home. His four friends were with him.  We laughed about my name and America…”Yes I know the Wu-Tang clan…no I don’t live in California.”

I was pretty glad I wasn’t dead…but gladder that Euchin didn’t feel like punching me too. But sure either way that it didn't matter. Jesus has a way of softening the hardest of hearts. He also said to turn the other cheek and I was prepared to obey but…you know.  

Euchin was hungry for power and suffers from pride; I, hungry for peace and untroubled with turmoil. This is the war we’re in. What kind of war are you fighting? love. war.

Things to think about:
-Paying for plastic bags at grocery stores is awfully wasteful
-Celebrities twit in fear of not being famous anymore. Pretty pathetic.

Legit Proverbs:

-Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall. 16:18

-A wise son hears his fathers instructions, but a  mocker does not listen to rebuke. 13:1

Friday, August 6, 2010

You Better Bring More than 10 Koruna if You're Moving to Prague

The view from where I wrote this blog...I's beautiful

When I first came to Prague, I obviously didn’t know specifically what to expect, other than everyone telling me how beautiful it was. “Oh you’re going to Prague, that’s such a beautiful city.” After I literally had 6 people tell me the same thing, I began to doubt their claims because, as I’ve learned in college, the masses aren’t correct. But, having been to Prague, I can tell you that it is beautiful but the beauty is the same on every street. So, like you would get used to the beauty of the mountains when living in the mountains, you quickly get used to the beauty of Prague living in Prague. (as with other cultures like Swaziland) Make sense?

Bathrooms cost money here. Everyone knows that when you go to Europe you’re going to pay to pee, but why? The test I use when deciding about whether I like a place is very simple and consists of two questions- 

1) free pee and 2) free water. 

So far Prague has a 0 and 2 rating with my test and therefore fails with a 0%. The same grade I received on my senior year Spanish test after my cheat sheet fell to the floor. Sorry Mrs. Rymer.

So you can obviously picture my disappointment when I order water by saying something like, “Do you have tap water?” Dumbfounded look ensues…”Um…water…in glass…(point to faucet) from sink.” Look of understanding ensues. Receive…bottle of water with a glass. While you might chalk this up to American ignorance and my lack of Český (the language Czech’s speak), I can assure you these restaurants have glasses and they have sinks. I have seen them both.

The second, bathrooms, is obvious and needs no further explanation, save to say, if you don’t have 10 Czech Crowns, you pee your pants. Since not peeing your pants has roughly the same value everywhere around the world…enough said.

Prague is also said to have the most beautiful women in the world and so far I’m thinking when people say that, they mean the most beautiful women in Czech Republic.  I’ve only seen two girls that I think are beautiful. The first at a club and I couldn’t work up the nerve to ask her out because she was in another league and the second had a “boyfriend.” Whose name I didn’t ask but was probably Pavel.  No offense to all the Pavels out there…you guys are great.

Another thing about Prague is they don’t efficiently label street names, which isn’t a big deal of course unless you want to go somewhere. When they do label the streets, they put the names on the corners of buildings. So if there isn’t a building on the corner, you guessed it, no street name. Which makes driving and getting places difficult, as  every street usually has things on it that you want to get to. If there is a building on the corner, they put the name of the street that you’re already on, on the side of the building, making it impossible to see the street name of the building you want to turn on until you’ve already turned.

The last thing I’d like to point out is that for the most part people aren’t that nice here. I think this is probably due to the whole 1948 coup d'état  and the Prague Spring, but I can’t prove it. The culture only changes you if you let it. Now that Czech Republic is a pluralist multi-party parliamentary representative democracy I have hope for their future. And since I have no desire to become a grumpy old turd I’ll keep saying hi to people and keep getting rough stares back…I don’t mind.  

There are also a lot of good things about Prague: It is beautiful; the public transit is quite easy, ridiculously clean, and surprisingly quick; beer is very cheap and better than PBR; and everyone smokes, which makes social smoking a true past time because it’s unbelievably easy to bum fags. If Prague had bike lanes, Wal-Mart, and better sausage, changes are I'd want to stay. But since they don't, I'm off to South Korea. When, I'm not sure. love. war. 

Things to think about:
-Are your rights being infringed upon?

Things to watch:
I filmed this outside the Kafka museum today...

Monday, August 2, 2010

The Cancer of Kingdom Animalia...Mosquitoes

A lot of my thoughts are over thought. As are a lot of my blogs. Stupid. I think I cured myself from this little disaster about a week ago when I posted: In Architecture a Facade, in Anatomy the Heart.

Something that I'm not in my blogs is myself. I'm not sure why this is because I tend to like myself more than I like other people (which is the whole point behind Jesus saying love your neighbor as yourself).

I was so worried about doing things the right way and not Page's way, which is right, to me. So I've decided to be more myself in my blogging. Which means I'm going to doing a little more:

thinking out loud
sarcastic commenting
literal questioning

and a little less:

grammatical rightness
weeks between posts
worry about what you'll think of me

I mean if I act like I don't care what you think of me when you're around me, which I don't, why do I care so much of what you think of me in my blogs. I mean for starters I write my blog in word and send it to a friend so she can edit it before I post...and the edits are all grammatical. So I've stopped caring if the things that I write aren't correct. Mainly because I don't care that much anymore. And because. THIS. IS. A. BLOG. which can, in some languages be translated to "A Joke."  If I was writing a book or something that I was selling to people I'd give them a little more heed and have someone go over the words and grammar to make it right. But since you little mosquitoes get to suck on my blog for free I'm not going to worry if I mess a verb tense, here, or put a comma in, the wrong place, once and, a while here. I mean come on, we're all native speakers and you can easily comprehend what I'm trying to say. If you can't go read someone's blog that's better than mine.

Which brings me to my next point:


I think all of God's creation is wonderful save these little hellions. You're lying on your bed, or if you're like me, on your box-spring, which is what I've been sleeping on the past month, and you're at peace, about to fall asleep and then...hhuummm...right by your ear. You slap it, thinking I'll kill that little Culicidae (from the Latin culexmeaning midge or gnat[6]) (thanks Wikipedia) and you end up slapping myself, which is exactly what I think that it wants. If you're like me, inpatient to the point of yelling, and waking your roommate up, you have two options.

1) Lie there, contemplate getting up and turning the lights on, but not doing it. Thinking, this gnat might go away if it gets it's fill of my, deliciously, public-spitied, red-cross-called-me-every-month-while-stateside, O negative blood or,

2) Get up and turn on the lights and try to find it, kill it, and smear it's blood (your blood) on the wall as a signal to all the other mosquitoes that you aren't in Peta, and this ain't Disney's The Bugs Life, and will savor ever second killing every single one of their evil brothers and sisters. Throw your hands up in the air in victory, close the window that caused this whole mess in the first place, and try to go back to sleep. With your blood pumping in the chance of the opportunity to do it again.

Last night I did number two. And last night I slept  good.

Things to think about:
-Moving out of small town America despite your lack of funds to do so
-What has kept you alive this long in your life?

Things to watch:
-Smiling Faces