Monday, December 20, 2010

I'm No Monkey and I'm No Cat...Do I Have to Be an Animal?

aww life.

I'm on my last cigarette and it's 144am. It's time to go home to sleep but the world keeps calling me asking me to engage in it with passionate rage. The Koreans are drifting home one by one from their passionate pursuit in their fantasy world. It begs me to question what kind of fantasy world I'm living in. Over the past 4 months I have felt like I am in one...without an avatar to fight the battles that come my way.

The people I meet think they are in an interview right off the bat. Tonight I had a date (well it wasn't a date exactly...but you know) with a beautiful Korean woman and she said "are you interviewing me?" I'm just curious; about everything. I'm curious to the point of madness. I'm curious about what spots are the best for cab drivers to pick people up in Seoul. I'm curious why the Seoul metro is so clean. I'm curious why Korean girls cover their mouth when they laugh. I'm curious why no one here cares about North Korea. I'm curious why I like smoking so much.

So basically I've figured out, to much of my astonishment, that people aren't as curious as I am. I'm very weary of people who aren't curious. The questions that run through my ever curious mind from day to day serve as a base point for how I interact with people. So are you curious?

I wouldn't assume that people should be curious all the time. Most people aren't curious...but I would assume that curiosity is what produces many things: great works of art, great companies, great salesman, and lastly great friendships. You can't have a great friendship if you aren't curious. I don't mean figuratively but rather literally. A great friendship consists on the basis that you're curious about the other person. Curious to understand why they view the world the way they do. Curious to take a walk in their shoes and love them unconditionally. Curious to know why they're crying or why they just broke up with their boyfriend. This is the curiousity that drives most of what I do and most, if not all, of my interactions with people I come into contact with.

People are always making fun of the amount of facebook friends I have. It's quite funny because I don't understand how it's hard for people to make friendships or why having a lot of facebook friends is negative. (I know you don't view them as real friendships but I do...because I've met 98% of the people I'm friends with) I simply think the whole time people are saying this that it's so easy to make friends with just have to be curious. People think they're in an interview when I meet them because I ask them a lot of questions...not because I'm nosy...which people (you) probably think I am...but because I'm curious as hell why they are the way they are.

There is obviously levels of friendships but I view friendships as a very sacred thing. I honor my friendships I have with people and think of them as very important...the most important. 

A simple questions opens up so many understandings about that person that not asking that question didn't before. And everyone has some wisdom to bestow on everyone. I'm looking for wisdom.

When I'm asking questions, this is what's going through my mind: what question can I ask this person that no one has ever asked them before. I believe there's a question for every person that they haven't ever been asked before and I'm bound to find out what that question is for every person.

There's no point to this post other than asking you to be more curious with the people you meet. Why? Because people need to be loved and your curiosity will open up their heart to you to really know what's going on...instead of talking about Kim Kardashian or the most recent basketball game. People often say to me, "I can't believe I'm telling you this." I can...because I care. Get deep. Don't be afraid. love. war.

Then Jesus said to his host, “When you give a luncheon or dinner, do not invite your friends, your brothers or sisters, your relatives, or your rich neighbors; if you do, they may invite you back and so you will be repaid. But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed. Although they cannot repay you, you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.

Things to think about:
Now can controlling something make it more free?
-Woman being lonely after they have a child.
-downloading songs vs buying them.
-watching too much TV.

Things to watch:
Lets talk parenting taboos

Things to listen to:
Inna - Love

Thursday, December 9, 2010

A Three Foot Ball of Fire Wrapped in Korean Skin; Squinty Eyes and All

As far as I know all little boys are a little wild but nothing quite compares to Vincent. He's more than your average wild child: he kicks chairs, doesn't let other kids answer questions, and insists on sitting in his chair the wrong way...and he is the reason I'm staying in Korea.

Over the past 3 months I have considered quiting my job every day. All this has culminated with me actually quiting my job last Wednesday. Much to my regret I was convicted about quiting my job, because I'm not a wiener, and told my boss today that I want to unquit. I had a special meeting with the owner of my hagwon and she told me she was unhappy with me, to say the least,...for quiting and then unquitting to which I told her that I understand. 

When I thought about quiting I was being selfish and only thinking about myself and what's best for me. Of course everyone is selfish, you're being selfish by taking time to read my blog and not doing the one hundred other things that you need to do, hopefully loving people is one of those thing. The question is when does doing something turn from being selfishness to selflessness, the quality that everyone should be trying to obtain. 

When I figured out that there were other things at play in the picture I was convicted of my selfishness and told my boss that I had changed my mind. I've changed my mind a lot. And then I've changed my mind again. But never face to face with my bosses. There were loads of other things that came into the picture but I'd like to break down all the other minutia to one simple thing: Vincent. 

Homeboy is the jam for real. When I thought about leaving Korea I was thinking about the no talent ass clown that would be teaching him after me and I couldn't think about letting someone teach him that might not love him, which is very easy to do. I was also sad about not seeing him grow up for the next 9 months. Is this what it feels like being a father? 

This is a typical excerpt of my classes with Vincent:

Page: Does anyone know why Henry was scared Mudge had to go to the Vet?

Page: yes...Vincent?

Vincent: Your face is crazy.

Of course when I call on Vincent I'm not sure if he's going to give me the right answer, which he always knows, or the 'your face is crazy' response which is his, and now mine, personal favorite. I'm still trying to figure out if my face IS crazy. I'm white and everyone else is not white. To make fun of white people Korean kids use their fingers and open their eyes wide like white people...much like we did with Asians in the opposite way.  

There are a few special things that I love about Vincent. Vincents handwriting is sub-par, but he doesn't care. Vincent is usually not in his chair, which drives me crazy, but he can't help. Vincent is in love with a girl in our class named Isabelle and he sometimes hits her and tells on her...not because he's trying to flirt with her but rather because he doesn't give a F#@k. He often runs up to the front and does flying kicks in the air trying to slam whatever is in his way. He leaves the room without asking. He reads his books upside down. He steals the fake incentive money that I have in my basket and gives it back just to show me who's boss.  He's boss. 

This description doesn't give him justice but Vincent doesn't do anything trying to gain approval, he just does whatever he wants. The main reason that I respect Vincent is because he just knows who he is...AND HE'S 8 YEARS OLD. I know you don't believe me but you have to believe me. He marches to the beat of his own whistle. And whistles don't even carry a beat. I guess you could say that Vincent is my favorite student...but he deserves to be because he's no one else's. love. war. 

Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."

Things to think about:
-your make-up you wear. 
-the gold standard

Things to read: