Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Thinking about what you're thinking about makes me feel like I'm thinking like a monkey

When you take the headphones out all you’re left with is the silence of your thoughts. I usually hate my thoughts. But I know I love them more than I would love having the thoughts of the average person…let’s pretend that there is an average person.  I don’t even pretend to think I know what’s going through the heads of these average people. The people out there who are so ignorant and foolish. It’s hard for me to even think about what they think about. Thinking about what they think about is making me feel a little stupid right now. And the more stupid I feel, the less I can think about what they are thinking about…which probably proves my point.

My mind hurts. Not because of the previous paragraph but just in general. I feel like recently I’ve been going crazy and I can’t do a lot about it. People talk about wanting to figure out their life and I’m here to say that it’s impossible to figure out your life because there isn’t anything to figure out. If I asked you why you weren’t happy, you’d tell me it’s because of your job, or your spouse, or your girlfriend, or your lack of motivation and then I’d ask you why you can’t figure it out and it’d usually end up sounding something like: if I had another job or another boyfriend…or I’m happy with my girlfriend but I just need to change some things about it. I just want to tell you that this life can’t be figured out because that’s not the point of life…to figure it out. Haven’t you heard all those quotes by all those famous guys…they go something like, “the more I know the more I know I don’t know” or “as I acquire wisdom what I’m getting wise about is knowing I’m not that wise,” “life is a journey not a destination” what the hell do you think all these people mean when they are saying all this stuff?  I think it means that you’re not as smart as you think you are. And at every level of your life you think you’re so much smarter than you were when you were 5 or 10 or 15 or 20…and that all is true but you still have a long way to go. It doesn’t matter what you know but rather how you apply what you know. And of course how you love the people that you come in contact with.

I’ve been thinking about how people leave conversations always giving promises about the next time they’ll be speaking with the person; I’ll talk to you later, I’ll see you later, I’ll see you tomorrow. I’ve been trying, recently, to not say any of these dead epitaphs. I instead just say goodbye or goodnight. Or I just don’t say anything at all. Sometimes I just say all right and hang up. This seems to be the best. Especially when you’re about to see the person you’re talking to on the phone.  I most assuredly don’t say peace. I catch myself saying peace and I hate it. It’s a habit and it almost can’t be stopped. Everyone says peace but I think they have no idea what they are saying. I say war when I’m done because I think that’s what we need…a war.

For too long the government has been stepping over its governmental right and making laws that they don’t have the power (they have the power because of the military) to make. They get away with making these laws because no one wants to challenge the national government. It’s wildly disappointing and my peers are the ones that disappoint me the most. I’ll run through a scenario with you about something that happens on a regular basis in my life when dealing with people (usually younger people my same age) “I can’t believe that the government is outlawing smoking in restaurants. Why do they think they have the right to pass these laws.” That’s the statement I made out of disgust with America and our state government. Now the next statement is the girl’s response:  “Well I like that the government is making a law about that because I don’t like smelling smoke when I’m in the bar and smelling like smoke when I go home for the night.”

The problem is that people feel like it’s their right to go to a business that exists. When the reality is that businesses in America are private and you don’t deserve to go there anymore than you would deserve to go the house of the person that owns the business. The reason that the bar lets you in is because they want to sell you things but they have the right to tell you that they don’t want to serve you. That problem arises with ignorant people not understanding what private business means and thinking they are entitled to anything and everything that exists. If I own a business it should be my choice what is done in my establishment. If I own a house it should be, and is, my choice what happens in that house. If I want to drink liquor after 2AM I can. If I want to walk around naked that isn’t illegal either.  As long as it’s legal to do I should be allowed to do it in my place of business. If smoking isn’t illegal, then I should be able to decide if people smoke in my bar. If eating isn’t illegal, I should be able to decide whether or not I serve food in my bar. In America, we don’t believe in the government owning businesses as a fundamental building block, even though some people in America might believe that. Obama being one of them.

Things to think about:

-Settlers of Catan is the best board game created. Better than Monopoly, Risk, Clue, and Sorry combined.
-If it's part of her body why can't she control when the baby kicks...if it's her body?
-Gifts don't need to be given to you for Christmas. It's a gift, not a requirement. A gift is the giver's choice and never an obligation
-love languages

Things to read:


Thursday, December 24, 2009

Let's have a yelling contest and see who everyone looks at

I feel like I’d watch a reality TV show based on my life. That’s probably because it’s my life and I’m living it. And because I think it’s better than other people’s lives. Although I do believe that other people do have amazing lives. The difference, I think, is that when people are on TV they do things that they don’t normally do or that they wouldn’t normally do if they weren’t on TV.  I imagine I would do the same thing.  Something about having a lot of people watching what you do makes a lot of people change up what they’re doing. 

Who hasn’t been hanging out in a group of people and seen their friends act perfectly different because of all those people that are around for them to impress?  They make more jokes or get everyone’s attention to feel valuable. That was me and still is me to some extent. But those are just the obvious ones. Now think about group situations that you’ve been in where you have a friend that isn’t the life of the party and yet when they get around a group of people they act differently also.  They act more like the subtle personality traits that they hold. I think that people are a certain way and when they get around people their behavior is magnified and comes out more extreme. If you are loud, you tend to be more loud and if you are quiet, you tend to let the louder people be louder. What does this matter? I’d like to make a parallel between God and groups of people.

 What’s the explanation for why people act differently in groups? Why is it that when we get around a group of people we tend to act differently than how we act when we’re alone?

I want to assume for a second that there is a being out there that created this world. The reason I want to assume this is, because if this isn’t true, I would submit that nothing matters at all; not love, not hate, not desire, not emotion, not the money you strive so hard to earn, or the father or mother that want you to act a certain way.  I want to take this assumption further and assume that the being is called God and that this God is in all places at every point in the world at the same time.  (Being of course because time is only in existence to us and not God (a blog for a later time)).

From this assumption I want to ask you one question: Do you act differently when there is a group of people around? If you answered no, go read another one of my blogs because this won’t do you any good.  If you answered yes to this question, I’d like to ask you why you think you act differently. Really? What is it about people that make you act differently?  Is it that you think people want you to act a certain way so this pressure, whether made up or real, causes you to change how you act? Or are you trying to impress people?

You’re always being watched. And it’s by a person that knows you better than you know yourself. So when you’re acting like someone that you don’t want to be know that God sees how you’re acting and just wants you to be real and honest…but more he knows why you’re acting the way you are. He knows about the man that raped you when you were a child, he knows about the parents you had that didn’t ever pay you attention, he knows about that girl that broke your heart when you were younger. He knows that this has caused you to not trust older men, not feel loved, and use girls so you’ll never be hurt again. He knows the reasons you act the way you do and because he knows all this, there is no reason to act any other way than how you would act if you were alone…which should be how you are when you’re  with people you love and trust.

I want to make one more assumption…that this God that sees everything and knows everything is more important than anyone that exists that you know…because he created everyone that you know. And since he created everyone that you know the things that he says and thinks matter the most. And what he says about you is that he loves you. He loves you more than you love yourself. Jesus loves you more than you love yourself. Take some time and think about why it is that you’re different around people than when you are alone. And once you realize why try to be yourself when you’re alone and with other people. Character is how you act when no ones watching. Love. War.

Things to read:

-Redeeming Love…it’s about prostitutes…you’ll love it.
-People still believe in man-made global warming  http://www.climategate.com/
-Minimum wage negatively affects the people that they claim it helps.  http://economics.gmu.edu/wew/articles/09/CollusionAgainstOurYouth.htm

Things to think about:

-Avatar was amazing to look at and horrible to listen to
-Jesus wasn’t born December 25th
-You don’t deserve anything for Christmas
-There are a lot of people that are better than you at everything you’re good at. 

Friday, December 4, 2009

The easist virture is candor; the hardest, humility

It’s nice to see people not give in to peer pressure once and awhile. I’m not one of those people that believe that peer pressure is inherently bad, but I am a person that is inspired when I see someone resist something that everyone else is indulging in because they don’t believe in indulging in that thing. What is it about people standing up for what they believe in that makes them so attractive? What is it about someone having honor that makes you want to follow them? I’m the type of person that can be a follower if I just found someone amazing to lead me. The sucky thing here is that the example is always William Wallace. The good thing is that William had steadfastness and stood for something and wasn’t willing to step back from that thing which he believed in. The bad thing is that I can’t think of anyone I know that did the same thing. Perhaps I’m thinking on too large a scale and should keep in mind the small times when people did that. Maybe it’s my good friends withstanding from sex because they are waiting to do it with their husband or maybe it’s someone resisting a cookie because they know they shouldn’t have another one, and not make a big deal about it.

These things are good but I’ve just decided that they are too small and they are not the things that I’m thinking about. I want someone to fight tooth and nail for something that they believe in. I want someone to have such a resolve to do something that they will stop at nothing till that thing is materialized. Of course I don’t want the people that are doing this to be doing it for the wrong reasons but the right ones. I guess the obvious example of the wrong reason is the people that fight for the lives of any type of animal, especially when it interferes with the lives of humans struggling to survive themselves.  Humans are always more important than any animal. One human is more important to me and to God than all the animals on the planet combined. God knows when a dove hits the ground and dies and he knows how many hairs are on your head and my balding one. How much more does he take care of you?

I want to note here that there is a common misconception about things that you shouldn’t be peer pressured into doing and the list includes, but is not limited to: smoking (anything), drinking alcohol, things that are illegal (with many exceptions),  things that the person doesn’t want to do, things that a person is resistant towards. This can be explained more but I don’t feel like explaining it so just think about it for a little while. Peer pressure is good and like most everything on the planet is not inherently bad.

Moving on I would argue that everyone is enchanted by the person that has valor. I would argue that there is something about the person that stands up for what they believe, that they are able to lead revolutions and revolts just based on their passion. I’ve been reading Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis and he makes some strong points that are hard to rival. I’ve also found that standing for something in life is way better than not standing for something. It, in a sense, gives you purpose and a drive in you that you almost didn’t even know existed.

So I’ll ask you if you want to join me. If you want to join me on standing up for what’s right in life and resisting what’s wrong. I want to ask you if you’re interested in being someone that is not afraid to step up to the people in life that are harming and not helping. I’m asking you if you’re willing to punch someone that’s harassing someone that can’t defend themselves. I’m asking you if you’re capable of doing more than you are not and sacrificing a little bit of your life for someone that’s weaker than you. I’m asking if you would get out of your comfort zone for a day and see how it feels to not be afraid of confrontation, or people not liking you, or people judging you, or people laughing at you, or people mocking the things you do, even if those people are your friends. It’s hard and it takes resolve…but try it. Do it. For me and for your friends that think you’re a wimp, and for your fellow man.

I can tell you something that I’ve done that is wildly full of anxiety for me in my life. Today I went into my teachers office and admitted cheating on a test. It wasn’t a premeditated cheated but more an opportunistic one.  I didn’t know the material and someone that is smart put their scantron in front of me on the teachers table and I just coped the whole thing, changed some answers, and got a 70. I don’t want to be a cheater, and I don’t want to be someone known for being dishonest but I do want to be someone that is known for making mistakes right and that is what I did today. The teacher looked at the wall and said that my test grade was in line with my other tests and that he had a lot to do so we would pretend that it didn’t happen. I sort of felt even more like a cheat after this happened. I felt that justice should be served and I should have been given an f…and maybe even expelled from school. My friends said I was crazy for this but I’d rather be honest and throw away $25,000 than be a liar and know that I am the rest of my life.  While the consequences for my actions weren’t as stiff a penalty at all to deal with like I thought they would be, I’ve come to the realization that I want to stand up for honesty and truth and not deceitfulness and lies, regardless of the consequences. Please follow my lead and fess up to someone that you’ve wronged.  If you look closely honesty is an example of a virtue and my goal in life is to be virtuous. It’s not crazy to be virtuous, it’s amazing. The feeling being a cheat and a liar is almost unbearable for the human soul…and you just feel crappy.

Before you’re finished with me, please go to this Wikipedia page about virtue and read the list of examples of virtue. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Virtue. Print off the list and mark next to each one the virtues that you think you have and look at the ones that you don’t. This is the best list out of all the lists for anything I’ve ever seen. And this list inspires me to be more than anything I am now. Some of the virtues I didn’t even know.

Things to read:

Mere Christianity, for those of you who are too intellectual to believe in God

Links to amazing things: