Monday, October 22, 2012

Doing People Dirty in the Big D

I was having a conversation with a friend last week and she said that as you get older it's harder to make quality friends. She thought it might be because the older you get the more friends you already have, and the desire to make friends lessens.

As I get older it's interesting to see how relationships change with the people I am close to. What's equally interesting is how people don't grow out of the desire to be in cliques. If you hang out with the same person/people every week, including your wife, you're probably in a clique; albeit it might be a small one.

I've been in Dallas for two months and I've recently had to take a step back and ask myself if I'm going out of my way to meet new people or if I'm happy with the amount of people that I already have as friends. I was, until last week, happy with the amount of people that I'm friends with. #selfish

While my friend is probably right to some extent, I think the more friends you have over time the more you realize that people are crappy and undependable; for the long-term and the short. But I don't want that to be a reason I stop being friends with old friends, and I definitely don't want that to be a reason I stop pursuing new relationships with people. 

If someone asks you to hang out...hang out with them. Better yet, ask someone to hang out. If there wasn't ever a time in your life that you didn't have to make friends than you can stay in your clique forever.

Things to think about:
-Does anyone ever call you back when you apply to jobs on job websites
-Where do you go to listen to new awesome music
-My ipod from 2008 still works
-In Korea they have washers that also dry clothes...or dryers that wash clothes
-Are you Bing or Google
-I eat more Ritz than could possibly be healthy

Things to watch:
Why I love Korea
Presidential debate analysis

Phrases that I hate:
It'll just work itself out. "I really need a job when I get to Vegas." "It'll just work itself out."
No worries. "Hey man I put that pencil back on your desk." "No worries."

Thursday, October 4, 2012

The TV Shows That Keep Us Off the Streets

This life that we're living is consequential only to the matter that we make it so. The meaning that you give to this existence of yours isn't something you've earned but rather a free gift. You don't put life in your lungs and feelings in your heart. They are there and you can't explain them. If you want to have meaning, any meaning at all, you have to do something that is worth being alive for.

I hear so many people say things like, "you only live once." This isn't true. What they should really say and what is more accurate is, "you only live in these bodies once." Your soul has a body. And what you do with your life matters.

We watch television shows in order for us to experience something we aren't able to experience in this world. We want excitement in our lives, but we want that excitement to be safe and non-threatening. TV shows like Dexter and Breaking bad allow us to fantasize about what it would be like to live a lifestyle where guns rule and anything goes and there is no consequence.

What I'm asking you to do is live a life where your life is threatened. Where you aren't safe. And where you depend on God to choose to keep you alive or take your life. The safer you are the more you can be assured that you won't have any meaning in your life. love. war.

Things to think about:
-Is protecting yourself the most important thing to do
-Does Romney really have the power to change America
-Is eating organic food really what matters
-Do you have nothing to do if your internet goes out

Things to watch:

Places to give money to:

Monday, June 18, 2012

A Page Shaped Hole in All of Us

Two days ago I picked up two women who were walking. I drove them to the store, waited for them while they bought some beer and fags, and drove them back to their apartment. One said it was the nicest thing anyones done for her in a long time.

I started sponsoring 3 little boys with Compassion. It costs me 114 dollars a month and I write them letters, out of my free time, so I can encourage them and make their lives less crappy. Because of my sponsorship they’re getting education, food, shelter, and a brighter future.

At a greyhound station, waiting on a bus, I bought a homeless guy a bus ticket to Houston.  What’s he going to do in Houston? Who knows.

I called a small prison not far from me and got a list of all the inmates and wrote them each a personal card encouraging them not to give up hope. 

And that was just this week.

The funny thing about me doing all those things is you don’t know if I really did them or not…

And guess what…no one cares. How good I am doesn’t concern you, even a little bit.  The things that I do throughout the day don’t make me a better person or even good. The small amount of good a person does doesn’t earn them anything. It won’t get you a spot in heaven, it won’t make you a righteous person, and it won’t even forgive you for the wrong you’ve done in the past.

Would it matter if I did the things I said above? Would it change the way you think about me? Would it allow me to be self-righteous like somebody owes me something for the good I’ve done.


The people I come across throughout my life are all infected with this little thing called pride. It seeps into our hearts and makes us think that we’re better than we are. It makes us think like there’s a small hole in everyone’s heart and if they got to meet us that’d hole would be filled. Pride causes you to look at disdain at the man begging for money, even if you're the one doing the begging. Pride causes you to constantly say “I know” to people as if you’ve never been told something you don’t know. Pride causes relationships to be ruined. It causes you to take insult to things people say to you. And the biggest thing pride does is that it makes us think that we don’t need a savior.

Love your neighbor as yourself. Do you want to know why Jesus said this? Because he knows how much we love ourselves. It’s so much it’s disgusting.  If you spent the amount of money you spent on yourself on your neighbor you might actually start to see your pride go away. love. war. 

"Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall." –Solomon

"Why do you call me good?" Jesus asked. "Only God is truly good.

update 10/22/12: I didn't do all the things that I said I did in the post. I hope you got it. 

Things to think about:
-Do politics matter.
-Where does most of our air come from.
-What your taxes go to pay for.
-Have you turned your back on any of your friends.
-Leaving for work earlier

Things to read:

Things to listen to:

Sunday, March 25, 2012

My Goal is More than Irish Spring

I stood in the shower this morning, as I do every weekday morning, peering at my body. As I get older there are some things that I notice about my body that have taken place over a period of time that I wasn't paying attention to. The largest of those small, seemingly unnoticeable changes is the small belly that I acquired right below my rib cage.

As I stood in the shower looking down at my fattening, hairy body, my vision auto-focused on the bar of soap, the one thing that I used to clean myself each morning.  I begin to come to reality that I'm not as disciplined as I'd like to be, allowing myself to gain weight from lack of exercise and an inability to change past habits.

This naked shower experience, which is much different from clothed shower experiences, came to work with me this morning where I thought about it most of the day.

My company had a quarterly meeting this afternoon for two hours. It was pretty awesome. The first hour they brought in a speaker of a successful pizza business to talk about the culture that he had in his business that allowed him to be one of the top ten pizza business in America. The second hour my CEO talked to us where the company stood financially, telling us all the numbers. The last thirty minutes were spent making individual, personal goals that each employee wanted to obtain, writting them on a board along with a fear as to why we weren't accomplishing the goal on the other side and having a board breaking ceremony. All 85 people in the company did this.

One of my goals is to lose fat and gain muscle. I'd ideally like to weigh around 150-160 lbs and be physically fit and a lot stronger. This is definitely a doable goal but the question I have been thinking about is what do I have to do to obtain this goal. What goes do you have? Most people I come in contact with have zero goals. There might be several reasons why, but my question is when are we together going to stop making excuses for the goals we want to achieve and start achieving them?

My company's CEO is great at personal development and having people hold you accountable. Who do you have holding you accountable for the person you're becoming? When you come up with certain goals that you have you need to tell people about them so you can start towards a path of actually achieving them.

The goal that I wrote on the board was to pay off 20% of my credit card debt ($1500) in 60 days. This is a huge goal for me and it's going to take a lot of sacrifices to be able to achieve it. I'm done with worrying about the reasons I've got into this problem and starting to focus on how I can get out of it. Shifting the focus from why did this happen to how can I get out is a huge step.

You should take time now to write down some goals. Make them big and make them the ones you've always wanted to accomplish. Then tell people you love and that love you what they are. Then write down smaller goals that will help you get to the big goal. And then accomplish them.

My best friend Ryan writes down his goals on a card at the beginning of every year and checks them off as he does them. He usually accomplished 80% of the goals. The other 20 get added to next year if they are still something he wants to do and taken off if they are not.

I want to own a multi-million dollar company some day. In order to do this I need to pay off my debt. Hints the goal. I have a purpose to my goal so I want to accomplish that.

I look at the bar of soap and think. This isn't going to wash the fat off me. I'm going to have to do a little work for that.  But we're not interested in work. We want things to be handed to us. We think we're owed something. You aren't owed anything. You very life is a gift. You actually deserve death. love. war.

Things to think about:
-NCAA tournament
-Sports not mattering
-Not swearing
-Obama has a big spending problem

Things to watch:
Have you heard of us

Things to read:
Total delegate count 
More of a different America

Friday, January 27, 2012

I Wasn't a Craigslist Killer...I Swear

Life is Austin has been slow at times; sitting in coffee shop after coffee shop (really just the same shop) applying for jobs one after another; taking some time off from job hunting to look on craigslist for free furniture. And having found an amazing leather couch sectional just to have it go to the Jones'; who, word have it, are still living better than me.

While this life is pretty exhilarating I had to take some time off from job and furniture hunting to have a little fun. Mind you that the fun I'm talking about having is 26 year-old I'm-looking-for-a-job-in-a-coffee-shop kind of fun and not the I'm-18-going-to-get-a-little-crazy fun. So I decided to do a little social experiment. I posted on craigslist this ad on the 20th of Janurary at 12:08pm:

Free $1 (Epoch Coffee)
Date: 2012-01-20, 12:08PM CST
Reply to: your anonymous craigslist address will appear here

I have one crisp new dollar bill free for whoever wants kidding. I'm at Epoch Coffee House on North Point. My name is Page. 512.663.7513. Just call when you get here and I'll give you a nice new dollar bill. It's 12:06 on the 20th and I'll probably be here another 2 hours.

The funny thing I thought was I was being pretty genuine. (You can call me if you need to talk...about anything) I had a nice, new crisp dollar bill and I wanted to see if someone wanted to come pick it up. I received two texts, one goes as follows:

Dollar Enthusiast: Can you send a pic of new dollar?
Me: crisp and new. (actual picture I sent him)
Dollar Enthusiast: An wut maked it new...u can iron it an look just alike

At this point I have no idea what this dude is talking about...ironing money...?

Me: Nah iron...just new. No tricks.
Dollar Enthusiast: Where u get it
Me: It came out of the machine
Dollar Enthusiast: thanks...thought it was a new print
Me: Where do you get a new print from. And who doesn't want a dollar even if its not new?
Dollar Enthusiast: Loose 5x that drivin to get it

Having felt bad about not being clear who would be losing here he sent another text clarifying.

Dollar Enthusiast: Ill loose 5x that jus drivin to get it.

He does have a good point here but I go on to explain why'd it be worth it for him

Me: Do you collect coins and money? you aren't thinking what you would gain by coming...think of the big picture.
Dollar Enthusiast: An wuts da big pik
Me: You'll have a contact in Austin with endless possibilities
Me: Who can teach you how to spell
Me: Among a whole host of other things.
Me: No?

And although I never heard from him again, during my conversation with said dollar enthusiast, I received an email from Craigslist saying my post was flagged and removed. I was annoyed by this because there wasn't anything illegal or wrong with my post, that I could tell. So I saw there was a way I could ask a community of Craigslist users why my post could have possibly been removed. Within seconds I received back a host of very keen observers all with unbelievable insight into the world of Craigslist.

For people that don't have craigslist to go in and read the posts I've copied and pasted the threads so you can at least get a picture of what's going on here. If you do have an account it's worth logging in.

I am Yonks7...hear my roar.

post 205395505 is located in thread 279434 of cl - flag help 

aus I tried to give away a dollar for free < yonks7 > 01/20 10:47  
      : . . Huh? < MizBozMaam > 01/20 10:48  
      : . . Scams as well as lame attempts as "best of" < TheWorldOver > 01/20 10:48  
      : . . Humm? Any reason you ignored this? < LDMF > 01/20 10:48  
      : . . Just for giggles, please post your ad EyesOfBluestSkies > 01/20 10:48  
      : . . let's see buzz_word > 01/20 10:49  
      : . . : . . not at my house < yonks7 > 01/20 10:50  
      : . . : . . : . . You want to lure strangers to a coffee shop? < MizBozMaam > 01/20 10:51  
      : . . : . . : . . : . . it's packed < yonks7 > 01/20 10:52  
      : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . ^ Obvious troll - I'm out. § < MizBozMaam > 01/20 10:53  +3
      : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . What's a troll < yonks7 > 01/20 11:11  
      : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . The opinions of other users on why < TheWorldOver > 01/20 10:54  
      : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . that makes sense < yonks7 > 01/20 10:56  -5
      : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . re-read all the rest of the replies, < TheWorldOver > 01/20 10:58  
      : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . Says the loser who can't find a friend when EyesOfBluestSkies > 01/20 10:55  +1
      : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . I have plenty of friends < yonks7 > 01/20 10:57  -5
      : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . give someone a dollar at the coffe shop § < jdreaper > 01/20 11:20  
      : . . : . . : . . your house/coffee shop same thing buzz_word > 01/20 10:52  
      : . . Ya'lls responses haven't helped me understand < yonks7 > 01/20 10:51  
      : . . : . . Okay, I'll play. < MizBozMaam > 01/20 10:53  
      : . . : . . Because you still haven't followed directions < EyesOfBluestSkies > 01/20 10:53  
      : . . : . . readers may flag ads for any reason they want < TheWorldOver > 01/20 10:53  
      : . . : . . Your post is illegal because it LDMF > 01/20 10:53  
      : . . Free $1 (Epoch Coffee) ...this was the post < yonks7 > 01/20 10:54  
      : . . : . . You sound desperate and pathetic. < EyesOfBluestSkies > 01/20 10:56  
      : . . : . . : . . I'm not but that doesn't matter < yonks7 > 01/20 10:58  
      : . . : . . : . . : . . You are too stupid for CL. Please log off now. § < EyesOfBluestSkies > 01/20 10:58  
      : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . it's a simple question < yonks7 > 01/20 11:02  
      : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . The stupid one is the one that doesn't grasp < EyesOfBluestSkies > 01/20 11:04  
      : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . People < yonks7 > 01/20 11:10  
      : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . Whatever helps you sleep at night § < EyesOfBluestSkies > 01/20 11:12  
      : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . Yes, they do < TheWorldOver > 01/20 11:05  
      : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . I understand < yonks7 > 01/20 11:07  
      : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . And most people we see coming in here < MizBozMaam > 01/20 11:10  
      : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . What were the instructions < yonks7 > 01/20 11:12  
      : . . : . . : . . : . . People flagged your ad, < TheWorldOver > 01/20 10:59  
      : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . lots of people do it < yonks7 > 01/20 11:01  
      : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . If it offends your sensibilities- flag it! § < dirtbag > 01/20 11:03  
      : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . That's for most things. yonks7 > 01/20 11:05  
      : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . You may flag any ad you feel should be removed < TheWorldOver > 01/20 11:06    link
      : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . that's pretty awesome < yonks7 > 01/20 11:09  
      : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . coupons/promotional items are prohibited < TheWorldOver > 01/20 11:04    link
      : . . : . . Even if people didnt think your ad was a complet < TheWorldOver > 01/20 10:57  
      : . . : . . : . . I didn't know that < yonks7 > 01/20 10:59  
      : . . : . . : . . : . . Far more people likely thought < TheWorldOver > 01/20 11:02  
      : . . : . . : . . : . . : . . I guess that makes sense < yonks7 > 01/20 11:03  
      : . . So anyone in Austin want a dollar? § < yonks7 > 01/20 11:14  

That was all for me. :)} No one on Craigslist understood. So what I've concluded is that I'm a freak and have no friends. Will you be my friend? love. war.

"Meaningless! Meaningless!” says the Teacher. “Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless.”

Things to think about:
-How long can you do nothing in politics.
-Is milk really bad for our bodies.
-Are you getting wisdom from people that are wiser than you.
-Are dishwashers really easier.
-leaving a comment

Things to watch.

Things to give your money to:
Shaping Destiny

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Single, Engaged, Divorced, Single, #selfish

Engaged life seems unreal. You've asked someone that you love to spend the rest of their life with you...and you have no idea how that life is going to turn out. You say yes to a question asked. It's a simple answer to a huge question and now you're going to be married. #bummer. I have many friends who are married, and none that I know against their will. One of my good friends just got engaged. I know people who are divorced. I met a lot of them and they all seem so all right. Most people seem all right. I mean how many people do you see walking around that just start crying for no reason?

So as I sit here drinking coffee and crying for no apparent reason I have some real hang ups with the thought of marriage that I'd like to talk about. Why are so many people committed to each other by living together but not committed to each other through a public statement of their commitment. How can you justify getting a divorce? #tilldeathdouspart Why is Coldplay such a good band?

I guess for all intensive purposes it seems quite natural: my parents relationship wasn't that great so why go through the same thing they went through? We'll just live with each other and if it doesn't work out go our separate ways...I mean we're not married. And who wants to deal with that messiness of getting a divorce? My parents got a divorce why would I want to do the same thing? You have to live with someone before you know you can be married to them. blah blah blah.

I'll attempt to answer one of them but am well aware that in all my wisdom there is ignorance right around the corner. So I welcome criticism but keep in mind my thoughts are from an open, welcoming stance. #nahmean. Most things I don't have answers for but I believe I do for divorce.

First I want to say that marriage is messy. The reason people get divorced mainly is their affinity for themselves. "I'm not happy," "He doesn't love me," "Things didn't turn out like I wanted," "I have things I want to do in life" #eatpraylove #selfish When really we should be asking ourselves questions that point to sacrifice. I mean isn't this life? Isn't this what true life is about? Sacrifice. Not selfishness. Don't people know going into a marriage that it takes sacrifice...and for many years you might be poor and begging for money. That's what it's talking about when you say for better or for worse. 

You might say "Page, you don't know until you've been there." I'll agree with you on one point: I haven't been married...but I've been in other relationships that take sacrifice and resemble marriages. Like all my friendships. And while I'm not married I do have brothers and sisters who I'm in a lifelong relationship with. Even the relationship with my girlfriend takes sacrifice.

So in the end my answer to divorce and most other things in life is this:

Stop thinking about yourself and start walking humbly in fear before the maker of the universe. If your spouse left you I'm sorry. #dontgiveup If you're too selfish to get married than don't. It's possible you could learn to be selfless and sacrifice but that takes a true love ready for real marriage. #KimKardashian

He knows what you're going through. Give it up to him. The answer is sacrifice. Do you think Jesus wanted to die for your sins? love. war.

"Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done."

Things to think about:
-being bolder than you are now
-taking up an issue and fighting for it
-talking to a homeless person
-going out of your way to help someone

Things to watch:

Monday, January 16, 2012

If it Weren't for Stereotypes I Wouldn't be in Texas

As I boil my soup on my rather old none brand name stove, I start getting a little hot. I proceed to finish cooking the soup and then open the kitchen window. I add milk and cheese to my Wolfgang Puck Signature Tortilla Organic Soup given to me by my very thoughtful girlfriend and open the window to the kitchen. As I proceed to eat my soup standing up, because I yet have no furniture, I hear a rather annoying noise coming from outside my window. It was the chirping of hundreds of birds resting in the trees sitting above my apartment complex 50 yards away.

I've been in Texas over a week and I was baffled to be honest. Hundreds of birds and not one person shot one of them down out of the trees. Now if you're like me you tend to believe things that trusted people say regarding things you don't know and one of those things is that in Texas everyone's a bad-ass and carries a gun. (I mean you don't even have to register your gun here) So I asked myself, "How could this be that these birds just sit atop these trees unafraid and songs unhindered?" Not that I don't love to hear birds singing in the afternoon to the sunset, perhaps praising God for the life that he gives them, but since I've been here I haven't seen one gun fired at anything. I also haven't seen one cowboy hat or anyone wearing stirs on their boots.

In the short amount of time between my dinner and my blog writings I've come to the conclusion that Texans aren't any less awesome that I thought but rather they've learned to not trouble themselves with trivial matters such as shooting birds out of trees when they're interrupting your supper eating. I imagine that they save their guns for more pertinent matters. Which is food for my soul because the last thing I want to be is living in a state that claims to be awesome but really is full with a bunch of wimpy cowards. I'm asking for Texas cowboys and I'm going to get Texas cowboys. Until then, Rick Perry told me that there's jobs here in Texas so until I get one I'll continue pounding the pavement. Maybe I'll nab myself a steer while I'm at it. love. war.

Things to think about:
-Saying what you think
-Not lying, seriously
-Jews vs Christians
-Catholics vs Protestants
-People don't comment on the actual blogs website but rather facebook where the same blog is posted.
-Paying to dry your clothes
-Your state compared to Texas

Things to watch
Sh*t girls say
Sh*t people don't say

Things I'm reading
-A bend in the river