Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Single, Engaged, Divorced, Single, #selfish

Engaged life seems unreal. You've asked someone that you love to spend the rest of their life with you...and you have no idea how that life is going to turn out. You say yes to a question asked. It's a simple answer to a huge question and now you're going to be married. #bummer. I have many friends who are married, and none that I know against their will. One of my good friends just got engaged. I know people who are divorced. I met a lot of them and they all seem so all right. Most people seem all right. I mean how many people do you see walking around that just start crying for no reason?

So as I sit here drinking coffee and crying for no apparent reason I have some real hang ups with the thought of marriage that I'd like to talk about. Why are so many people committed to each other by living together but not committed to each other through a public statement of their commitment. How can you justify getting a divorce? #tilldeathdouspart Why is Coldplay such a good band?

I guess for all intensive purposes it seems quite natural: my parents relationship wasn't that great so why go through the same thing they went through? We'll just live with each other and if it doesn't work out go our separate ways...I mean we're not married. And who wants to deal with that messiness of getting a divorce? My parents got a divorce why would I want to do the same thing? You have to live with someone before you know you can be married to them. blah blah blah.

I'll attempt to answer one of them but am well aware that in all my wisdom there is ignorance right around the corner. So I welcome criticism but keep in mind my thoughts are from an open, welcoming stance. #nahmean. Most things I don't have answers for but I believe I do for divorce.

First I want to say that marriage is messy. The reason people get divorced mainly is their affinity for themselves. "I'm not happy," "He doesn't love me," "Things didn't turn out like I wanted," "I have things I want to do in life" #eatpraylove #selfish When really we should be asking ourselves questions that point to sacrifice. I mean isn't this life? Isn't this what true life is about? Sacrifice. Not selfishness. Don't people know going into a marriage that it takes sacrifice...and for many years you might be poor and begging for money. That's what it's talking about when you say for better or for worse. 

You might say "Page, you don't know until you've been there." I'll agree with you on one point: I haven't been married...but I've been in other relationships that take sacrifice and resemble marriages. Like all my friendships. And while I'm not married I do have brothers and sisters who I'm in a lifelong relationship with. Even the relationship with my girlfriend takes sacrifice.

So in the end my answer to divorce and most other things in life is this:

Stop thinking about yourself and start walking humbly in fear before the maker of the universe. If your spouse left you I'm sorry. #dontgiveup If you're too selfish to get married than don't. It's possible you could learn to be selfless and sacrifice but that takes a true love ready for real marriage. #KimKardashian

He knows what you're going through. Give it up to him. The answer is sacrifice. Do you think Jesus wanted to die for your sins? love. war.

"Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done."

Things to think about:
-being bolder than you are now
-taking up an issue and fighting for it
-talking to a homeless person
-going out of your way to help someone

Things to watch:

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