Saturday, April 10, 2010

I Don't Know if I'm More Skinny or More Crazy

It’s unbelievably hard not to believe the things that people say about you.  Not only that, but you almost become the thing that people say that you are, regardless of whether or not you want to. You know what I’m talking about. Someone constantly telling you that you’re great or that you’re stupid or that you’re ugly or that you have a funny laugh, or that you’re an airhead. You can’t not believe these things that people say about you because they are true. If they weren’t true they wouldn’t say them.

 It is weird the things that people chose to say to you. There are things that people say to me that I don’t necessary think to be true but because people say them so many times, I just assume that they are true regardless of my feelings.

People tell me all the time how skinny I am. I don’t think that I’m that skinny because I see people and a lot of people are more skinny than me, but I know that I am skinny because so many people tell me. So I started to change what my definition of skinny looks like to where I now fit into this definition.

There are other things that people say about me that I have total instant control over, like how crazy I am. People tell me that I’m crazy…they say things like “dude, you’re crazy,” “HAHA, you’re crazy,” “well I’m not crazy like you,” “Page you’re crazy.” Again I don’t believe I’m that crazy and so I have changed my definition of crazy to allow room for me and my actions to fit into this definition. I will admit that I’m a little more animated than a lot of people that I come into contact with and maybe a little more passionate.
But I don’t want to talk about me or why I’m crazy any more than trying to understand why it is that we do the things that we do. I’ll try to explain with my example of being crazy how I think what people say about us affects us.

The cycle looks a little bit like this. I do something, people say that I’m crazy, I like that people think that of me, and so I do more things throughout my life that line up with what I think to be crazy. I then take the positive feedback along with the negative and change my actions accordingly to meet the expectations of others while still staying true to who I am as a person. 

So what is it that people say about you that has changed the way that you are as a person?  Maybe you have done some mooching and now people call you a mooch. Now you’re in your friends kitchen about to take something to eat that isn’t yours and you tell yourself…well, I am a mooch.
Or maybe people have always told you that you are quiet and since you are quiet you have come to think that this is who you are and that you’re defined by this characteristic that you have. And you think that you shouldn’t speak up and say something because people aren’t going to hear what you actually say, but rather focus on that you said anything.

It’s okay to be certain things that people think about you. Rather than being who people think that you are, think about what it is that you want to be and start to change yourself to be that thing. If you’re tired of being quiet, pick the right times and speak your mind. If you hate your laugh and people have always told you it’s annoying, change the way that you laugh to something that you like a lot better.
If you’re an airhead and you don’t like that, start reading more books and talking to people about deep subjects and you’ll slowly become less of an airhead.

People might tell you that if change things about yourself that you’re being fake but I just want to tell you that you aren’t being fake by changing who you are anymore than you are being fake by holding your tongue when you shouldn’t say something to someone that will hurt their feelings, especially if people have always told you that you are so honest and blunt. Holding your tongue for the sake of someone else’s feelings isn’t fake but rather responsible and admirable.

I always hear people say that I shouldn’t tell people to change because I’m not letting them be true to who they are. I would argue that no one is true to who they are so you should always change for the better. Stop being the crappy person that you are, figure out what it is that God doesn’t like about you and change it. We’re all a product of our culture, some more than others, but just because you’re a product of it doesn’t mean that you have to act like it. love. war. 

Things to think about:

-Tiger Woods is actually sorry
-Techno music
-Does pornography have any positive affects? Does it?

Things to read:

Things to watch:


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